Well.....I want to go to the dentist!

What he thinks about me.

I am pretty sure that you are always pondering the meaning of life and why things happen and then you listen to Kings of Leon.

He descubierto que tengo algo de "El extranjero" (libro de A.Camus) en mí.

"Estar en el mundo sin ser del mundo, como un extranjero"

Ruta 19

Me gusta soñar,
caer al vacío,
y revivir de golpe.

Le sigue lloviendo al corazón...

Has been a rainy day...
and I felt like listening to this song...
but no, my heart is not broken.



...y no ha parado de llover.

The song of my childhood...

I do remember, I was so little and naive, my cousin used to play this song a lot so I loved it from the first listened and still loving it since then. This song reminds me of so many things, such as happy moments, sadness, lonlyness, dispair, love, tears, kisses, red cheeks, sun burns, dust, abandonment, emptyness,laughs, jokes, sweat, scrapes,hugs, joy, angst..........myself.

Oh and the video is so tender.




Understand the things I say
Don’t turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn’t disagree
D’you see me, d’you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D’you notice, d’you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, where’s when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn
’cause we were raised
To see life as a fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Ol he liked me, does anyone care

Understand what I’ve become
It wasn’t my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am
But I miss you, I miss
’cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
D’you know this, d’you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care

Unhappiness was when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn
’cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Ol he liked me, does anyone care...

Half Nelson

"Change moves in spirals, not circles. For example, the sun goes up and then it goes down. But everytime that happens, what do you get? You get a new day. You get a new one. When you breathe, you inhale and you exhale, but every single time that you do that you're a little bit different then the one before. We're always changing. And its important to know that there are some changes you can't control and that there are others you can. "

The only constant is change.

It has been a while......

Its been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
Its been a while
Since I first saw you
Its been a while
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And its been a while
Since I could call you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that Ive rendered
Have stretched myself beyond my means

Its been a while
Since I could say
That I wasnt addicted
Its been a while
Since I could say
I loved myself as well and...
Its been a while
Since Ive gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
Its been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when Im with you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that Ive rendered
Gone and fucked things up again... again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
But then I go an fuck things up again

Its been a while
Since I could...
Look at myself straight
Its been a while
Since I said Im sorry
Its been a while
Since Ive seen the way
The candles light your face
Its been a while
But I can still
Remember just the way you taste

Everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
To me... I know this pain
Can I blame this on my father?
He did the best he could for me

Its been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
Its been a while
Since I said Im sorry

Last night..

..I dreamt of this guy I used to chat a lot, the prettiest thing about him is that he used to tell me nice things, it really felt like we had something together or at least I felt it, not sure if he felt it too, but Im still remembering him even if he hasnt. So I dont quite remember the dream very well but I´m sure it was him, you know ...when you cant see his/her face but you can really feel who he/she is, weird right?well ..... his intention about me was determinated, I saw him, he was desperately trying to find me, to see me for the very first time, but somehow I couldnt get back to him dont know why, and that was my dream , pretty short but it felt so real! I didnt want to wake up, Thats the worst thing about dreams, isnt it? well, it depends, but with this dream I wanted to keep on dreaming and find out the way to get together and see how it all works out.

And now I have this weird feeling, that feeling of really missing that guy. I thought I had already forgotten him and now I don´t. Maybe tomorrow I´ll forget it all.

( )

no tengo ganas de entenderte
ni yo me entiendo
la tormenta me aturde
estruendos en mis pensamientos
nada claro
nada
mis historias escritas por ahí...
¿tu sabes donde es?
yo no...
alguien habla en mi cabeza
voces, susurros me entorpecen
cierra los ojos Ale!
no pienses
nada
olvidalo todo
nada te persigue
estás sola
tu y tu mente
nada puede tocarte,

no lo pienses
no creas en nada,
ni en las palabras,
no existen.
ni en las voces
son sonidos
no voces.

A quote a I like

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the question now. Perhaps then, some day far in the future, you will gradually without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. "



Rainer Maria Rilke

soulsearching

Ok so........ i feel pretty low right now..i mean, i dont know what to do next!! thats the ultimate question: What do I fucking WANT? sh#t My mind is a mess right now , i wish we were all just given a handbook or something on how should i live my life!! but that wouldnt be funny, would it? Maybe i just have to focus on to day, on this moment but its hard 'cause i cant stop thinking about whats next!!! fuck !! i dont wanna think !!! i hate this angst!

Maybe its time for me to turn a new leaf!! yeah i know maybe is just a "not stop thinking" moment (i hope),anyway... all i can do is wait and i know for sure life will bring me exciting things. its just a matter of time, isnt it?

I love this soulsearching ( i am being sarcastic) .

"Mundo loco" - Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
A raunchy young world
Mad world

Today im happy because...

...its friday!
...tonight i will have a blast
...ill get to see your eyes again
...i ve finished my exams
...even if i failled accounting, ill have another chance
...i spoke my mind
...i sucked a delicious candy
...i saw new faces
...i laughed with you
...i discovered the band "City and colour"
...its sunny
...ill have a drinks woohoo
...and as simple as the fact that im breathing!

Sometimes little things can make us happier than bigger things.

...

i really dont understand how life works, really i dont.
you live every day with the expectation that you will be awake tomorrow, but the truth is that you never know. You see different faces every day, you will have the chance to see some of them tomorrow or maybe you wont. They are all distinctive souls, stories, lifes, pains, smiles, thoughts. But who really cares about them? Have you ever wonder if the person sitting right next to you on the bus is ok or in need of something?
We are living our lifes just like robots, doing what we are supposed to do or what we have been told is the right thing to do. But have you ever wonder what is the best for you? have you ever given the chance yourself to listen to your soul, what you feel? Have you done everything youve been wanting to do? if you dont, maybe its time for you to start doing something about it because you never know whats gonna happens next.

Mañana..

..mañana me enamoraré, o mejor aún, nos enamoraremos. ¿que te parece? bastante justo no?..bueno...una vez que nos miremos, quedarás enganchado a mí y sin mas ni menos, me querrás para siempre. Luego me llevarás contigo a Suiza donde mientras tu estudias música yo estudiaré idiomas en la universidad y tu me enseñarás a tocar la guitarra y yo te hablaré en francés. Te hablaré de cómo me gustan los días nublados, de lo exquisito que es para mi reir a carcajadas contigo hasta llorar y de lo grandioso que es respirar tus silencios. Los viernes en la noche en el bar seré tu fan #1, te veré tocar las canciones que alguna vez me susurraste al oido.
Y si nuestro amor llegara a terminar .....simplemente volveré a recordar.

3 minutos soñando contigo y una ilusión.

Anoche soñé que me decías que me extrañabas menos que ayer...
y en mi sueño yo te extrañaba demasiado.

Ahora me despierto y deseo que al menos tu me extrañes como me dijiste en el sueño, al menos un poquito; pero para decirte la verdad nunca te tuve y no te extraño, más bien te añoro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx_WxCIK1Gw&feature=related

We own the sky

-¿Quieres ir conmigo?
-Contigo? ...sólo a la luna, a ningún lado más.
-Bueno, es que pensaba llevarte al parque, nada lejos eeh!
-No importa, cualquier lugar es la luna cuando estoy contigo.

?

"¿Cómo desacostumbrarme a la bella costumbre de tu presencia?..."

Boca llena de caries???

Mouthful of cavities
Your souls a bowl of jokes
And everyday you remind me
How I'm desperately in need

See, I got a lot of fiends around
And they're peaking through nothing new
They see you
They see everything you do

See everything on the inside, out

Oh, please give me a little more
And I'll push away those baby blues
Cause one of these days this will die
So will me and so will you

I write a letter to a friend of mine
I tell him how much I used to love watch him smile

See I haven't seen him smile in a little while

Haven't seen him smile in a little while

But, I know you're laughing from the inside out
Laughin' from the inside out
I know you're laughing from the inside out
Laughing from the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside out

WWOOOWWW Esta canción (una de mis favoritas) realmente me puede matar, jajaja es simplemente excelente aunque al principio un poco dificil de entender y gustar; requiere un poquito de tiempo para comprender la melodía, (bueno, al menos para mi) pero despues....uuuffff.... fluuuyyyeeeee! excelente para deshaogarse!

Mouthful of cavities (boca llena de caries), segun yo, es como una referencia de él (en este caso Shannon Hoon, el vocalista de la banda) de su personalidad y sus imperfecciones, no puedes ver sus caries hasta que sonríe, no puedes ver su sonrisa hasta que lo llegas a conocer. Las "caries" son los vergonzosos defectos que el esconde....... Esto y más es lo que yo entiendo de la canción aunque puede ser interpretada de mil maneras.

TEEN ANGST-M83

How fast we burn?
How fast we cry?
Simple we live
Simple we die

Somehow we learn
Somehow we cry
How fast we burn?
How fast we die?

I hear the planet crying now...

Me encanta este video, la canción y la historia realmente evocan la sensación de aislamiento o soledad junto con extraña satisfacción. Simplemente al escucharla siento emociones raras que nunca habia sentido before, tal vez emociones perdidas que aveces es necesario sacar a relucir. Espectacular.

p.d: No puedo subir videos. carajo!

hoy...

..fuí a la misma fregada plaza del pueblo, tal vez inconscientemente para volverte a ver y sí, te volví a ver ...ya es la segunda vez y parece como si fuera la primera. Estabas en el mismo café, en la misma mesa y con la misma pose. Esta vez no te ví, te observé por un instante, tratando de conocerte un poco más y desvié la mirada antes de que nuestros ojos se encontraran (que bruta) y sí creo que tu también me miraste, pero como si fuese cualquier otra persona que pasa. Soy una estúpida por no haber esperado a que nuestros ojos se encontraran y sonreirte, tal vez así me hubieras sonreido también e inclusive me hubieras invitado un café y nuestras historias hubieran sido diferentes. Pero no fué así, caminé hacia delante y como si nada hubiese pasado.

Y ahora me encuentro escuchando la canción Again de Lenny kravitz y mira que me esta cayendo re-bien. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW2qlKa6oHw&feature=fvst

I dont know what to do with myself

Ultimamente no he aprendido a lidiar conmigo, estoy abrridisimaaaaaaa, he perdido mi "creatividad" que en realidad nunca tuve. El mundo se mueve y yo estoy atascada, no se que hacer aún. Fuck fuck fuck mi palabra del momento.

He intentado tomar fotos "buenas" con esta camara de mierda o la mierda seré yo? hahahaha y viendo Felicity ahora que desearía mi vida fuera tan complicada como la de ella. Necesito adrenalinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

adios y fuck

¿?

¿Como carajos sabes a que dirección va el viento?


....fuck it.

God moving over the face of the water

UNKLE-GOD MOVING OVER THE FACE OF THE WATER

After 20 years, you analyse a lot...
You know, remember people, heroism...
Many people come up to me and say, that, had they been there
They surely would have died.
But no, it makes no sense...
Because until you're in a situation like that
You have no idea how you'll behave

Fronted by solitude without decadence or a...
Single material thing to prostitute and elevate you to a spiritual plane
Where I felt the presence of God
No, there's the God they taught me about at school
Where's the God that's hidden... by what surrounds us in this civilisation?
That's the God I met

My mind is in a state
'cause all I seem to do is tempt my fate
Well I try every space
But all the while we're crushing at the gate

This time, this time

My mind is in a state
'cause everything I miss it comes too late
So I try and disappear
But there is only one way out of here

This time, this time

My mind is in a state
But all I need to do is change my pace
And I know there's fear to face
But happiness is firm in its embrace

This time, this time
This time, this time
This time

Sólo una escena pero más que eso.

Tomó otro sorbo de vino y lo disfrutó como si fuera el último, su compañero se encontraba recostado mirando las estrellas, ella estaba sentada concentrada en la música que escuchaba, mas no lograba hundirse en ella.
-Tengo tantas cosas en mi cabeza, creo que necesito de algo más que esto. Pensé que contigo sería suficiente, pero al parecer no lo es.
El parecía que no la escuchaba pero podía sentir que la ultima frase quemaba su corazón, su lagrima lo decía todo.
-Lo siento, pero necesito salir de aquí, tal vez necesito aprender a conocerme, descubrir quien soy realmente. Dijo ella.
Él simplemente la miró, la tomó de la cara y la besó como si fuera la ultima vez que la fuera a ver.
Ella le respondió el beso.

Todos los recuerdos, ya no volverían a ser vividos otra vez, simplemente recordados.

Ale.

Spotless mind

I was a little kid, i remember the door was open and mom carrying our luggage.
My mind was confused, cold feelings, no tears; all dried up.
Dad , he was on his knees looking through my cheerless eyes. Tears rolled on his cheeks. His hands holding mine. Sadness on his face.
(But hey! you screwed up dude!! theres no way back! remember ??!!.)

And then we left...
Leaving that man behind.


...no memories of him on my mind.

Ale.

yes....i think im starting to follow your eyes..
your lost eyes..
in that deep and empty soul
but i know you have lots of stuff to share

maybe you could share it with me
and i could help you to forget those blues



i would like to keep you away from those drugs, if you let me ..
but i think my kisses wont be enough
well, maybe for a while but not for too long

its such a shame....

im kind of falling in love..
but its way ridiculous
its been barely 5 days
and you ve touched my hair already
i love the way you work with it.

Ale

Maybe tomorrow

"I've been down and
I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around
With me
With me

It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

I look around at a beautiful life
Been the upperside of down
Been the inside of out
But we breathe
We breathe

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me
All me

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home"

I like the idea of...

One same time.Different moments.Different places.Different cultures.Different people.Different memories.Different stories...

and of course the idea of TRUE LOVE.

Ale.

Anonymous...

I want your sun to dazzel my cheerless eyes...

and then...

i will be able to see the world in a completely different way.

Ale.

Historias diferentes...

Your sweat is blood

and their tears are joy.

Ale.

I say...

Make up your mind ..dude!!!
why is it that you change your mind so much!!
analyze your thoughts and arrange them,
you despair me!!
i want to make a move but you dont let me
'cause i dont know if you care about me

Ale.

Inmensity

La otra noche fuí a la playa con algunos familiares, era una noche preciosa, todos la pasamos increíble, muchas risas, tomamos, conversamos, jugamos... adoro esos momentitos con la familia y amigos tambien, son simplememte deliciosos, no tienes idea de como disfruto estar con ellos y de verdad que no necesito de mi padre a mi lado, no me hace falta, ésa es la realidad.

No necesitábamos de luz artificial, con la luna fué suficiente para reconocer nuestros rostros...en uno de esos ratitos me escapé de mis compañias y me dirigí a la orilla, donde las olas suavemente mojaban mis pies, qué delicia!! y pude admirar con mayor fascinación lo que tenía enfrente, simplemente inmenso! y lleno de vida, sensacional el reflejo de la luna que podía observar sobre el mar tranquilamente violento. En uno de esos instantes cerré mis ojos y me dejé llevar por mis sentidos...Y dejé que la luna me bañara con sus buenas vibras y me puse a pensar en lo afortunada que soy de estar viva y de poder presenciar éstas bellezas que simplemente te hacen sentir que todo está perfectamente bien, que nada malo te puede alcanzar y llegas a alcanzar una paz interna increible!! y ahora no me importa lo que suceda mañana...

Ale.

Thirsty...

My hormones are restless because of you...
would you like to calm 'em down?!

If you want to make God laugh,
tell him about your plans...

This is so true.

I feel like...

im being left behind

...

I can't draw my face

couldnt recognize my facial features

dont know how people see me

weird feeling.....i know

i can barely trace my shadow

feeling so small in this enormous planet, universe, nowhere...

all i can affirm is that i must love myself, my skin, my eyes, my soul, my hands my everything

and then i could take care of you... no matter where you are ..close or far away i dont mind we ll find each other...

theres always somebody for someone...

.

.

Ale

¿?

I love those little games you play with me,
i know you re only tasting me,
but im liking it,
and it feels good thinking of it,
but i know your heart is already possessed by her,
and i dont care,
because i m such a jerk,
but my mind keeps wondering how it would be.
.
.
Ale

Despair...

I cant handle it !
your calmness is driving me crazy,
i dont like the sound emitted by your mouth
its just irritating to me,
i cant stand this awkward silence
please say something
but something wise,
please close your lips and stay quiet
dont say a word!! ,
I know you dislike what i am, what i do, what i think
well i cant do anything about it .....so.....suck it up !!
Dont ever come to me with that composure 'cause ill puke into you
'cause i know it is all rubbish
i can not digest your hipocrisy, im sorry
Id slap your "flawless" and "pretty" reality.
.
.
Ale.

A beautiful quote from the motion movie: The curious case of Benjamin Button

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not,....
I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

A little beautiful poem

"Day burns down to night,

Burns the edge of my soul.

In the night I break into sparks of suns

And become fires in a dust of bones

Night knifes

My breath swallows whole my tongue

Turn back Reverse return

In the night I see the real

Concealed in the day's bright lie

Eyes stitched shut

White teeth smile

Sleep walks and talks

And feet mark time of day "

(Nick Powell from The invisible movie)

I love it.

...

Theres nothing left to say...just breathe and feel.

Ale.

Youve got to learn to love what you are

My friend Jeremiah sent this video to me and he wrote: "This song seems like an Ale song"


"Hey, Snow White
It's going to be all right,
it's going to be all right
How can you win some?
When the company goes public
You've got to learn to love what you are"

Longing...

I am so homesick now for someone that I might never know...
I am so homesick now for someplace I will never be...
Homesick for some lips i ll never touch.
.
.
Ale

Waaaaaazzzzuuuuppppp!!